WHY MEN EAT FRIES BEFORE THEIR BURGERS.

so i went out with my ex boyfriend just now, watched the really lameshitsuxdick local film and ate kfc. and as usual, he made me laughed my ass off.

amber: so, what do you do in army?
xiaoxin: swat flies, eat shitty food, watch porn together.
amber: how to watch porn? O;
xiaoxin: there's such thing called a psp, my dear.
amber: WHAT. then what comments do you people make?
xiaoxin: hardly any. but there was this one friend of mine who commented something that made every one laugh.
amber: what did he say?
xiaoxin: we were watching porn when he said " wow that guy is muscular! " and that made everyone laugh.
amber: very funny meh?
xiaoxin: its a guy thing. because everyone only looks at the girl.

are you a guy enough to get it? O:

so he sent me home, and held my hand as we stopped at the traffic, pulling me back when a cab whizzed by. after walking for a distance, i took his hand and said, " when was the last time you held a girl's hand? " and his reply was

" umm, a couple of minutes ago? " :P

anyway,so i was watching my ex eat his kfc and the question that has been bugging me for ages rose again. " WHY DO GUYS EAT THEIR FRIES BEFORE THEIR BURGERS? " i think i shall go make a survey and post it for all of us to see, to prove my point. being a random post, it should end randomly. i came across a nice dirty joke. ;D

before that, if you are not a sick youtube fan, you should look at this.-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWEjvCRPrCo

things i learnt from porn videos:

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
4. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
5. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
6. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
7. Women always orgasm when men do.
8. Those tits are real.
9. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
10. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
11. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. -and the girl isn't disgusted!
12. Double penetration makes women smile.
13. Asian men don't exist.
14. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
15. There's a plot.
16. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
17. Nurses suck patients cocks.
18. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
19. Women never have headaches... or periods.
20. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
21. Assholes are clean.
22. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
23. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
24. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Is this why my dear brother tells me that my blog content is terribly petrifying for his young innocent mind? O;

yeehang's got a car for himself and he is only 17. WTF I WANNA GO MALAYSIA. now i know who to ask to bring me to malaysia to do my nails.. winkwink._ given how much he paid for it, i think a scratch on his car can drive him to suicide. hmm.

good night people ;D enjoy your porn. my survey will come soon. probably sooner than my chapter three. :P

HALF and HALF.

two halves make a heart;

its valentine's day, yesterday. O:

everywhere you go, you see couples.

when you have a bouquet in hand, you are just enaging in a competition between other girls holding their flowers. -" WHO'S FLOWERS ARE MORE EXPENSIVE/ IMPRESSIVE. "other than a few with uber cute teddy bears, every girl was looking at me with envy, because moron bought such really IMPRESSIVE and EXPENSIVE roses. though its not my favourite color O: not only that, i had two guys on hand. LOL, though its just ryan, -,- who is in love with my sister. BUT i feel like they are vanguards : D tut tut.

moron looked suuuuper cute in the sweater and shirt i recommended him, i was as usual fat and ugly, and ryan looked as though he was just going the kopitiam downstairs O: saw this FUCKING CUTE GUY in the lift at cineleisure.. for a moment i wished i was went alone in that bloody lift with him. OH GOD, the pros and cons of being attached >:

PICTURES OF SUUUUPER HOT CARS. its finally here o;

LOOK AT THIS BABY HERE. its totally hotter than justin and beckham add together. it has such a OMG-I-WANT-TO-WET-MYSELF-LOOKING-AT-IT sex appeal. tell me im not the only lovesick freak here.

you just gotta see it in real to be able to feel the sexiness in the touch, the lust that overwhelms you. oh god, orgasmic.

but i think this is spastic. showing the intestines of the car might be cool but is it to see if the exhaust pipes will burn? O:

don't ask. i will jit tao fling my body against the car if i can. well as we can see, the carplate number is 888. uh. so i assume its some fat-middleage/old-uncle who drives it huh.

ITSOMFG DROPDEADGORGEOUS LAMBORGHINI!. ITS SWEETER THAN SWEET :D but the bumper makes it look kind of fat. O; well this isn't as impressive as the uncle's red ferrari. maybe because it looks fat. oh dear, you need to lose weight. parking next to ferrari is just like my rabbit standing next to wendy.

i guess this is a better shot. well apparently the driver might be younger and hippier than the ferrari's one. looking at the inside of the car and the plate number. lol.

then we have this poor car here which even the birds discriminate. you know what i mean..

well it's not the only one there. its EVERYWHERE on the car. tsktsk. pesky birds. sigh. i gotta go *nudgenudgewinkwink with wendy's friend then go hunt for ferrari club guys together. they may be old, but whos complaining. money makes you look younger ; D

thinking of it, i've yet to see married/attached rich guys who'd never had one night stands or affairs before. maybe during granpa's era. but now? oh my god bullshit. every guy is like a lusty asshole who thinks about sex every 20 seconds, subconsciously or not. its proven h0kay. plus, when they have the money, any girl will just throw themselves at them. hawt young woman vs. old naggy wife.

ryan: guys have this, natural mechanism in their brains that makes them zoom in to cleavages and upskirts automatically and quickly. we can't help it!

i am preparing to get married to a rich guy, fyck care about his affairs. divorce me = give me HALF YOUR ASSETS + san yang fei. who don't want? don't want give me.

instead of CYAO ( crying your ass off ), be smarter abit. want to keep your husband, you must learn teh, art of seduction. a great wife on bed, is forever ownage`- x1000. but that's not enough. try table /chair /kitchencounter /toilet /swimmingpool / anywhere~ a kinky hot bath together, a random blowjob in the morning, a surprise "dessert" after dinner is what keeps your husband crawling back to you for more.

i'm young but im not stupid. holding a ring in your hand is never enough. grab hold of his lust for lust,.. a relationship never gets bland when you pack it with steamy moments. you will realize, that people who gets into a loooooong relationship will touch lesser, the meet ups become a habit, not a want, there is reliance, not love, a routine, not a need. remember that touch is an unspoken courier of love, it is far greater than the power of words.

*from book: once the touching stops, the loving stops.*

&in case of super greedy males, ask them to _l_ off. they are not worth your HALF of a heart. ( for anti lit students- it means a broken heart. ) take their money and run! :D

flowers on a random day! *winks at dave.

before you go, my BIRTHDAY is coming ;D its just an ordinary shitty day except that you know you are getting older and one year closer to being called an aunty. oh well. *saving up for gold to get gold threads under my skin! sounds gross but, the price of beauty, tut tut. don't ask me when's chapter 3 coming. o; i dont know. i only started on the first two lines. :D

P.S: edison chen is a sick fuck, and all his victims are idiots. and they should shave before goats think they have grass on top of their vaginas and start chowing on them.

DYMTFB. in abbreviation.

i am an angel, i wield a halo, a facade.
my words they're magic, an immaculate art.
i am a goddess, i define beauty,
my movements are sex-, erotic and pretty.

i am a temptress, a lubricious desire,
my touch unleashes, your lewd denial.
i am the world, passion is my pawn,
my eyes are like a weapon, a deceptive con.

i am an abstract, i delude conscience,
my heart abuses truth and turn it vicious.
i am an extreme, between love and hatred,
females are antagonists while males are patriots.

i am a treachery, a betrayal of love,
philandering is in my blood, a motto which i serve.
i am a mere human, yet not,
there's more to what, you think i've got.

i am what you want me to be,
i can enrapture but you will never get me.
my heart is a void so my love's for free.
i am something you can buy but its too costly.

HELLO GUYS, i am back with emolation- turned on. CNY was never so heartbreaking before. o;
chapter three will come after CNY, i hope.

-desitute of you.