Outrageously lewd.

DOTA; so ryan was saying " i think you should try other heroes instead of zeus.

thus, i went to spend time reading up on the info of all the heroes in the game. i found out that zeus has only a short description >: , spider and insect has steamy love affair, and that rylai has big boobs. anyway, i couldnt decide on who, so i -randomed;

after trapping teammates in trees and sucking life from creeps, i ended up with POTM, and i spent a few moments trying to get myself out of the trouble i had with Leap.

i was trying to type the letter "e" but i forgot to activate the chat box and thus the hotkey was pressed and she leaped to the river and couldnt move back o;

says ryan: humans love to point out the obvious., humans mainly referring to him-

outrageously lewd; says:
i think the holyknight is very cute
outrageously lewd; says:
he can make the neutrals come fight too
If i lay here, If i just lay here.. says:
its very gay
If i lay here, If i just lay here.. says:
if microed properly

outrageously lewd; says:
it can heal, thats the best.

If i lay here, If i just lay here.. says:
yeah
If i lay here, If i just lay here.. says:
global
If i lay here, If i just lay here.. says:
same as zeus ult
If i lay here, If i just lay here.. says:
but heal teammates
outrageously lewd; says:
DUH
outrageously lewd; says:
if not heal enemies? -,-

BYE GUYS :D

} TASTE of MoE.

FEBUARY , 19; i realized an alarm clock isn't the most efficient to wake oneself up. after aging a year the day before, my body's starting to retard and wrinkles are revealing their evil selves already. you simply hit the SNOOZE button, and the alarm will go away. - for ten minutes.


so yes like any normal lazy person would, i grabbed my phone to hit the snooze button, but an impending message came and i pressed it accidentally. so yes, the screen zoomed to the contents, and the block letters cleared my foggy vision. :


MOE: congrats TAN SHI Qi, you are posted to TEMASEK POLY, ENVIRONMENT DESIGN under 2008 JAE.
and i totally shot up from bed. what on earth is environment design.


dave: i think you design flowers? benches and stuffs. outside lor. "
oh great. so im too inferior for interior design they are giving me exterior design? holy mother of god. i should have taken art. my a1 in lit, can go fuck itself. i mean, no one really understands much of " come you spirits, unsex me here " or " there's no art in the mind's construction of the face " isn't it. but art is shit.


teacher: { places stapler on table } Come class, draw this stapler. hand up to me tomorrow. class dismissed. --


BUT I STILL WANT SP. I WANT MY GAMING CCA. so i appealed for hospitality and tourism at SP. i have one alternate option which is EARLY CHILDHOOD STUDIES at NP. forget it, the mention of NP already turned me off. plus studying children? no please. i was planning to have a dog as my kid, not a squealing baby crying its genitals off.


if i get in to sp, anyone who wishes me luck gets an apple pie from me :D
if i couldn't get in, i will settle for tp. guys from the east are very cute.


BIRTHDAY, thanks to everyone who wished me happy birthday ;D and those who bought me presents :D chilung owes me a pink toy car. can i have lamborghini version of it? O;
probably my goldfishes were happy for me too :D maybe they went insane cuz moron blew at them trying to convince them they were experiencing tsunami.


I HAVE SOME FACTS ABOUT MEN AND WOMEN :

1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

2. A man will scrimp and save to buy the football shoes he really love. A woman will use her husband's credit card to get the shoes she love, to add to her extensive collection.

3. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

4. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.

5. Married men live longer than single men - but married men are a lot more willing to die.

6. Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

7. Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

8. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change & she does.

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. For a man, it is " the more the merrier. ". For a woman, it's " bigger is better. ".

~

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.
"Mother, where do babies come from?"

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, "Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex."

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, "That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy's vagina. That's how you get a baby, honey."

The child seems to comprehend."Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy's penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?"

"Jewellery, my dear. Jewellery."

~

BYE GUYS : D

WHY MEN EAT FRIES BEFORE THEIR BURGERS.

so i went out with my ex boyfriend just now, watched the really lameshitsuxdick local film and ate kfc. and as usual, he made me laughed my ass off.

amber: so, what do you do in army?
xiaoxin: swat flies, eat shitty food, watch porn together.
amber: how to watch porn? O;
xiaoxin: there's such thing called a psp, my dear.
amber: WHAT. then what comments do you people make?
xiaoxin: hardly any. but there was this one friend of mine who commented something that made every one laugh.
amber: what did he say?
xiaoxin: we were watching porn when he said " wow that guy is muscular! " and that made everyone laugh.
amber: very funny meh?
xiaoxin: its a guy thing. because everyone only looks at the girl.

are you a guy enough to get it? O:

so he sent me home, and held my hand as we stopped at the traffic, pulling me back when a cab whizzed by. after walking for a distance, i took his hand and said, " when was the last time you held a girl's hand? " and his reply was

" umm, a couple of minutes ago? " :P

anyway,so i was watching my ex eat his kfc and the question that has been bugging me for ages rose again. " WHY DO GUYS EAT THEIR FRIES BEFORE THEIR BURGERS? " i think i shall go make a survey and post it for all of us to see, to prove my point. being a random post, it should end randomly. i came across a nice dirty joke. ;D

before that, if you are not a sick youtube fan, you should look at this.-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWEjvCRPrCo

things i learnt from porn videos:

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
4. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
5. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
6. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
7. Women always orgasm when men do.
8. Those tits are real.
9. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
10. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
11. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. -and the girl isn't disgusted!
12. Double penetration makes women smile.
13. Asian men don't exist.
14. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
15. There's a plot.
16. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
17. Nurses suck patients cocks.
18. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
19. Women never have headaches... or periods.
20. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
21. Assholes are clean.
22. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
23. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
24. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.

Is this why my dear brother tells me that my blog content is terribly petrifying for his young innocent mind? O;

yeehang's got a car for himself and he is only 17. WTF I WANNA GO MALAYSIA. now i know who to ask to bring me to malaysia to do my nails.. winkwink._ given how much he paid for it, i think a scratch on his car can drive him to suicide. hmm.

good night people ;D enjoy your porn. my survey will come soon. probably sooner than my chapter three. :P

HALF and HALF.

two halves make a heart;

its valentine's day, yesterday. O:

everywhere you go, you see couples.

when you have a bouquet in hand, you are just enaging in a competition between other girls holding their flowers. -" WHO'S FLOWERS ARE MORE EXPENSIVE/ IMPRESSIVE. "other than a few with uber cute teddy bears, every girl was looking at me with envy, because moron bought such really IMPRESSIVE and EXPENSIVE roses. though its not my favourite color O: not only that, i had two guys on hand. LOL, though its just ryan, -,- who is in love with my sister. BUT i feel like they are vanguards : D tut tut.

moron looked suuuuper cute in the sweater and shirt i recommended him, i was as usual fat and ugly, and ryan looked as though he was just going the kopitiam downstairs O: saw this FUCKING CUTE GUY in the lift at cineleisure.. for a moment i wished i was went alone in that bloody lift with him. OH GOD, the pros and cons of being attached >:

PICTURES OF SUUUUPER HOT CARS. its finally here o;

LOOK AT THIS BABY HERE. its totally hotter than justin and beckham add together. it has such a OMG-I-WANT-TO-WET-MYSELF-LOOKING-AT-IT sex appeal. tell me im not the only lovesick freak here.

you just gotta see it in real to be able to feel the sexiness in the touch, the lust that overwhelms you. oh god, orgasmic.

but i think this is spastic. showing the intestines of the car might be cool but is it to see if the exhaust pipes will burn? O:

don't ask. i will jit tao fling my body against the car if i can. well as we can see, the carplate number is 888. uh. so i assume its some fat-middleage/old-uncle who drives it huh.

ITSOMFG DROPDEADGORGEOUS LAMBORGHINI!. ITS SWEETER THAN SWEET :D but the bumper makes it look kind of fat. O; well this isn't as impressive as the uncle's red ferrari. maybe because it looks fat. oh dear, you need to lose weight. parking next to ferrari is just like my rabbit standing next to wendy.

i guess this is a better shot. well apparently the driver might be younger and hippier than the ferrari's one. looking at the inside of the car and the plate number. lol.

then we have this poor car here which even the birds discriminate. you know what i mean..

well it's not the only one there. its EVERYWHERE on the car. tsktsk. pesky birds. sigh. i gotta go *nudgenudgewinkwink with wendy's friend then go hunt for ferrari club guys together. they may be old, but whos complaining. money makes you look younger ; D

thinking of it, i've yet to see married/attached rich guys who'd never had one night stands or affairs before. maybe during granpa's era. but now? oh my god bullshit. every guy is like a lusty asshole who thinks about sex every 20 seconds, subconsciously or not. its proven h0kay. plus, when they have the money, any girl will just throw themselves at them. hawt young woman vs. old naggy wife.

ryan: guys have this, natural mechanism in their brains that makes them zoom in to cleavages and upskirts automatically and quickly. we can't help it!

i am preparing to get married to a rich guy, fyck care about his affairs. divorce me = give me HALF YOUR ASSETS + san yang fei. who don't want? don't want give me.

instead of CYAO ( crying your ass off ), be smarter abit. want to keep your husband, you must learn teh, art of seduction. a great wife on bed, is forever ownage`- x1000. but that's not enough. try table /chair /kitchencounter /toilet /swimmingpool / anywhere~ a kinky hot bath together, a random blowjob in the morning, a surprise "dessert" after dinner is what keeps your husband crawling back to you for more.

i'm young but im not stupid. holding a ring in your hand is never enough. grab hold of his lust for lust,.. a relationship never gets bland when you pack it with steamy moments. you will realize, that people who gets into a loooooong relationship will touch lesser, the meet ups become a habit, not a want, there is reliance, not love, a routine, not a need. remember that touch is an unspoken courier of love, it is far greater than the power of words.

*from book: once the touching stops, the loving stops.*

&in case of super greedy males, ask them to _l_ off. they are not worth your HALF of a heart. ( for anti lit students- it means a broken heart. ) take their money and run! :D

flowers on a random day! *winks at dave.

before you go, my BIRTHDAY is coming ;D its just an ordinary shitty day except that you know you are getting older and one year closer to being called an aunty. oh well. *saving up for gold to get gold threads under my skin! sounds gross but, the price of beauty, tut tut. don't ask me when's chapter 3 coming. o; i dont know. i only started on the first two lines. :D

P.S: edison chen is a sick fuck, and all his victims are idiots. and they should shave before goats think they have grass on top of their vaginas and start chowing on them.

DYMTFB. in abbreviation.

i am an angel, i wield a halo, a facade.
my words they're magic, an immaculate art.
i am a goddess, i define beauty,
my movements are sex-, erotic and pretty.

i am a temptress, a lubricious desire,
my touch unleashes, your lewd denial.
i am the world, passion is my pawn,
my eyes are like a weapon, a deceptive con.

i am an abstract, i delude conscience,
my heart abuses truth and turn it vicious.
i am an extreme, between love and hatred,
females are antagonists while males are patriots.

i am a treachery, a betrayal of love,
philandering is in my blood, a motto which i serve.
i am a mere human, yet not,
there's more to what, you think i've got.

i am what you want me to be,
i can enrapture but you will never get me.
my heart is a void so my love's for free.
i am something you can buy but its too costly.

HELLO GUYS, i am back with emolation- turned on. CNY was never so heartbreaking before. o;
chapter three will come after CNY, i hope.

-desitute of you.