so i went out with my ex boyfriend just now, watched the really lameshitsuxdick local film and ate kfc. and as usual, he made me laughed my ass off.amber: so, what do you do in army?
xiaoxin: swat flies, eat shitty food, watch porn together.
amber: how to watch porn? O;
xiaoxin: there's such thing called a psp, my dear.
amber: WHAT. then what comments do you people make?
xiaoxin: hardly any. but there was this one friend of mine who commented something that made every one laugh.
amber: what did he say?
xiaoxin: we were watching porn when he said " wow that guy is muscular! " and that made everyone laugh.
amber: very funny meh?
xiaoxin: its a guy thing. because everyone only looks at the girl.
are you a guy enough to get it? O:
so he sent me home, and held my hand as we stopped at the traffic, pulling me back when a cab whizzed by. after walking for a distance, i took his hand and said, " when was the last time you held a girl's hand? " and his reply was
" umm, a couple of minutes ago? " :P
anyway,so i was watching my ex eat his kfc and the question that has been bugging me for ages rose again. " WHY DO GUYS EAT THEIR FRIES BEFORE THEIR BURGERS? " i think i shall go make a survey and post it for all of us to see, to prove my point. being a random post, it should end randomly. i came across a nice dirty joke. ;D
before that, if you are not a sick youtube fan, you should look at this.-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eWEjvCRPrCo
things i learnt from porn videos:
1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
4. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
5. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
6. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
7. Women always orgasm when men do.
8. Those tits are real.
9. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
10. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
11. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. -and the girl isn't disgusted!
12. Double penetration makes women smile.
13. Asian men don't exist.
14. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
15. There's a plot.
16. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
17. Nurses suck patients cocks.
18. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
19. Women never have headaches... or periods.
20. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
21. Assholes are clean.
22. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
23. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.
24. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
Is this why my dear brother tells me that my blog content is terribly petrifying for his young innocent mind? O;
yeehang's got a car for himself and he is only 17. WTF I WANNA GO MALAYSIA. now i know who to ask to bring me to malaysia to do my nails.. winkwink._ given how much he paid for it, i think a scratch on his car can drive him to suicide. hmm.
good night people ;D enjoy your porn. my survey will come soon. probably sooner than my chapter three. :P
