I just stumbled upon this photo taken during a photoshoot when i was clearing PENIS.
( for those of you whos' still unsure, PENIS is my laptop )
and then i noticed the ring i was sporting. its nothing fancy, just any ordinary couple ring that you can get anywhere. but its really silly how something so meager can mean so much.
i remember when it was when i wore the ring. ( we were crossing an overhead bridge ) i told myself i was the luckiest girl in the world because he was everything that i ever wanted. the ring somewhat felt like the only comfort that i could secure whenever he wasn't around.
but we met more downs than ups in the relationship. i guess that's the way life is.
Met ERIC who came back to Singapore!! he was driving Mercs Convertible and i can almost still feel the wind running through my hair. So with wind slapping my face, i could barely hear what he was saying, words that delivered tremors down to the very roots of my heart.
( LOL so dramatic, sorry i've been playing too much RPG )
So im here to impart the cruel facts of life to you guys, we need to wake up because there's no such thing as a fairytale.
LESSON OF THE DAY:
Studies have shown that love in a relationship only lasts a maximum of 1year9months, any longer than that is just a habit.
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The scales of a relationship is never balanced. Like a pull & push, scales tilt proportionately and the percentage is always 100%, only that the ratio determines whether you are the lucky one or the suay one, in either way, its going to cause pain for the latter and guilt for the former.
So i was telling KY about this last night and he strongly opposed such an idealogy. He points out that he has witnessed many people who stuck together till old and still do sweet stuffs for each other. ( referring to old people ).
But this is 2010. We see sex in primary school children and multiple abortions. We see mass orgies and girls are learning to look prettier ( fake or not ). Sure enough there are bound to be a few who still inherits the gene " faithful ".
BUT, faithful don't necessarily means love. it means you will stick to one. That's where the problem comes in. you can jolly well stick to one partner your whole life. That's a habit. see?
You tell me you've loved a girl for 6years. But the catch is that she doesn't love you. Uh-oh, boo to you. But that's also the reason why you love her for so fucking long. Something that you can't get always seem alluring and tempting to you.
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Let me explain what is love.
Superficial or not, the core of love has never changed since Flintstone fucked Wilma. Love is a mixture of chemicals to induce the need to have a potential mate for mating purposes and passing on of the genes. It is just the medium for the end product, which is = babies!
So, love and lust are intricately bonded. In love, lust is oftenly seen as its what produces the desire to have sex (namely, mating). The chemicals involved will be testosterone and estrogen.
*Quoted from wiki: these effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months.
That's why i always say, when the touching stops, the loving stops. It makes sense. see?
Then you are going to argue: I'm with my girlfriend for 5 years, i still have sex with her.
That's not lust. that's must. YOU NEED TO RELEASE.
Must is something you need to do.
Lust is something you WANT to do.
A couple has been in marriage for 3 years. The husband drives to pick up dinner for the family. Why? Because his wife said so. Its something he has to do.
Not something he goes:
" Woot omg! I am going to queue so fucking long to get dinner for my family although im damn tired cuz i really really want and love to do this!. "
get it?
Oxytocin, as i have mentioned in one of my previous articles- a quick recap,
Its known as the "Cuddle hormone", oftenly found released during sexual intercourse, and present in greater numbers in the female genitals,
(explaining why females need to cuddle after sex)
Quote from WIKI:
"The long-term attachment felt after the initial "in love" passionate phase of the relationship ends is related to oxytocin, a chemical released after orgasm."
( Btw, doing romantic stuffs for your girlfriend need not be love. It can be your character, the HABITUAL need to express your romantic personality or just a routine that you and your gf has gotten accustomed to. )
Example: A man buys flowers for his wife on their 10th anniversary. Perhaps he has done that for the last 9 years and it becomes a routine.
When you get married with kids, you are just probably staying together for the kids, and for someone to be there to grow old with you. (like an indirect investment)
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The only way to be in love with your partner is to fall in love all over again. But of course this doesn't just happen at whim.
rediscover, re-appreciate and make an effort to recreate what has slipped away for like ages - Love.
When was the last time you texted "Baby you are beautiful."?
(perhaps you never ever did)
Click me if love hurts <--- It isn't goodbye till you let go!
