LTNB - long time no blog

SIRI TOLLEROD! Damn am I in love with her.


blogger has been pissing me off recently. mind you it doesn't help much especially when your head is weighing down with fever. I have a plethora of photos to post but apparently it loads too slow, that i reduced it to err.. 5 photos.

I know!!! It has been LTNB! ( long time no blog ) I've been screwing myself with work. See, I TOLD YOU, i'm not cut out for such hard labour. Maybe even my whitebloodcells found it hard to digest. ( pun intended )


YAA, WELCOME MY 7th Juicy couture bag :D It should have reached me earlier though. Never mind, my cupboard can wait.

I fell sick for like 2 weeks ever since i started working. but here i have a couple of photos.
This strange looking coffin is actually a bag. Which belongs to my boss. Ya i guess he was the only cute thing that ensured i even bothered to turn up on the last day of my work, SICK.

One of the reasons why the shop doesn't earn much :

Who in sanity will EVER, EVER, wear such cheesy outfits out?!?! Like, even wearing them to bed causes a nightmare.

I guess that was why i left as well. Too boring. But well it was a good experience.

LOL @ this :

Please shave your armpits. Lmao.

Pardon me. I feel the need to be emo for a while. This little essay is inspired by the book "Goodnight, Beautiful" which the ending.. sucked. But the use of words were powerful and very emotional. The writer used personal recount which is, probably my favorite type of writing ever.

& i always believed

that love comes in a psychic form of power. As far as my heart has ever ventured, it has been hurt, been healed, been fooled and it has manipulated and broken many others. You see, the synergies of love and loss sometimes confuses and more than often leaves oneself hurt and more empty than ever.

I looked into his eyes, many a times, when we were lying on the bed, me with one arm propped on the pillow and him lying down at the crotch of my arm. I'll fondle with his hair, and then our gaze will meet. That's probably every couple's winning moment yet all i felt was my eyes searching for something that they couldn't find.

I wonder if it was because of me, because the past hurt so much i couldn't quite seem to forgive him nor forgive myself for ever being so stupid, that i built many invisible and impenetrable walls to protect my still-healing heart. I was afraid to love him, afraid to bear the responsibilities of it all on my own.

I found it hard to map out his train of thoughts. Sometimes he wears a mask, inscrutable and unreadable. Taking in his words were a chore. I had to analyze and scrutinize each sentence and guess which ones are the truths. Most of the time, I get tired of doing so and take everything in.

He has his way of getting to me, of wanting to control me, seducing me with his promises and innocent affections. Such energy weakens me, leaving my soul bare and vulnerable. I navigate through the convoluted maze of his heart only to find a hard way in and no way out.

Till now i don't really fathom love. I wonder whether I love him. And usually, I wish I don't.

starting school in 5 days. how horrifying.